• Darque Dungeon


    You encounter a defenseless human

    I attack it! I bite its neck and drink its juicy blood! Roll saving throw against wicked vampire action!


    The human sees you coming and stakes you right through the heart. You’re dead. PWNED!

    AAAAHHH! FUCK! NOOOOO! It’s not fucking fair! I’m supposed to be immortal and live in eternal darqueness!

    Marcie, don’t be a pussy. You are whinier than Livejournal.


    Debbie, let’s ditch that lamer Marcie and hit the club. Darque Dungeon’s having an EBM night. Let’s go and pick up some guys in rubber clothes!

    That sounds great! Do you think the DJ will let me request Headhunter?

    Yeah, he will, if you put out. I’ll beat you to it!


    It’s kind of dead in here tonight. Not enough people are supporting the scene these days.

    You should have showed up earlier. DJ DarkBlackRivet666 played a 30 minute VNV Nation set, it was STOMPIN!!


    Thanks for taking me to that club! It was awesome! I never knew how great the goth scene was! I’m going to go out and buy a bunch of power noise CDs so boys will like me!

    That’s great Debbie. Check out my web-zine for some reviews and recommendations! And, please, try not to wear so much white next weekend.


    What did you think of that new Epsilon Minus song they played?

    Ugh. FUCK that techno shit! That shit’s not GOTH! I like my music HARD and DARK, like my fucking soul!


    You’re catching on quick!

    I’ve seen the light!… I mean, I’ve seen the darque! I know now that Goth is great and everything else sucks! GOTHICK 4 LIFE, BITCH!


    Laer that week…

    Hey Debbie! Marcie’s on the phone, she wants to know why you were talking shit about her on your livejournal!

    I never said it was Marcie! I just said that “M” was a whiny pussy! Don’t tell her I said that!


    Hi Mrs. Anderson. I’m here to pick up the Sandman comics I lent to your stupid daughter.

    I’m glad you’re here Debbie. Marcie has locked herself in her room and she won’t come out! She’s been in there all day, listening to that terrible Skinny Doggie band on repeat! I can’t believe the music you kids listen to these days! What ever happened to Rock and Roll? Go tell her to listen to something else, for Christ’s sake!


    No, Marcie! You didn’t have to do that!


    Nobody undarstands me! Gudbye crool world! Marcie


    Aw shit, I can’t believe Marcie actually killed herself. In the end I guess she really was more Gothic than all of us! I should never have taken her off my friends list!

    Forget about that bitch, Debbie. She was secretly collecting Nine Inch Nails rarities and bootlegs. We don’t need her kind.


    I once overheard her telling someone tha Stabbing Westward was “not so bad”. She deserved to die!

    But, why do we have to be Goth ALL the time? It’s ok to like other things, regular things, isn’t it? No on deserves to die because they don’t appreciate the artistic value of Merzbow records, right? (She mustn’t discover that I’m a trance fan!)


    DON’T BE STUPID, DEBBIE! I’ll fucking kill anyone who opposes the countercultural assault of noise music WITH MY BARE FUCKING HANDS!

    Woah, woah, chill out, bitch! I’m on your side! Feindflug rulez!


    Hey Debbie, what’s wrong? Can I help?

    I thought the Goth scene was cool and exciting, but now I see that these bitches are crazy! (Sob)

    Debbie, I told you nobody likes a Gothic. I’ll get my friends to kick their asses.

    You would do that for me?


    Shit yeah! We’ll make the pasty bastards wish they’d never left their castle! Roll saving throw against BEATDOWN!

    What can I do?

    Round up your fishnets, goggles, PVC jumpsuits, and burn them! You’re never going to that Darque Dungeon club again! You’re a REGULAR PERSON now, just like before!


    Scene politics courtesy of Bogart Shwadchuck. Save yourself and reject The Scene now!

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