• The Producers, Titanic II (347/203)

    by  • 7/22/2011 • movies • 0 Comments

    THE PRODUCERS (2005) (Netflix) – Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick are my least favourite parts of this film. As the leads, they’re nearly always on screen bothering me with their silly interpretations of their characters. Uma Thurman and Will Ferrell are better, and Ferrell even has some really good moments. Playing SPRINGTIME FOR HITLER director Roger De Bris, Gary Beach is best when he camps up the part of Hitler. Other great bits include; Aryan John Barrowman, Old Lady Dance number. The first 15 minutes are horrible, but it does get better.

    TITANIC II (Netflix) – Is ASYLUM PRODUCTIONS the movie industry version of a song poem vanity publisher? Are these “actors” paying for the privilege of having speaking roles? The writer, director and male lead are the same person, and he’s bad at all three, so my money’s on vanity movie production. Bad computer graphics, horrible script, pathetic acting. It’s BRILLIANT. They couldn’t make it this horrible intentionally. At one point, Bruce Davison’s character advises “Alert all the ships in the Atlantic to STAY AWAY FROM ICE!”

    Yes, tell the ships that they need to stay away from ice. While you’re at it, advise drivers in New York to stay away from buildings.

    There’s an awful lot of concrete in this cruise ship. Stairways, tunnels, walls… built from poured concrete? There’s water leaking from the ceiling of rooms far above the water line? Mid-ocean tsunami waves that actually crest? An American with an iPhone that works at sea? ON AT&T? Wow. So. Much. Bad.

    If only they had cast 80s pop stars in lead roles like they did with MEGA PYTHON VS. GATOROID. Surely Mitsou or Samantha Fox could have been brought in?

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