• Sixteen Candles, Breakfast Club, Weird Science, Real Genius (332/190)

    by  • 7/9/2011 • movies • 0 Comments

    SIXTEEN CANDLES (Netflix) – Ah, John Hughes, capturing a version of the 80s, in the 80s, that never existed anywhere but in film; you can tell that because the geek gets the popular girl. John Hughes films existed purely to sell soundtrack albums; it’s the only excuse.

    I haven’t really gone looking, but I’d guess there have been long articles describing how a horrible thread runs through this whole film, treating women like things. Jake, who is Ringwald’s character’s ideal man; he basically gives his comatose girl to a stranger “I’ll let you take my drunk, passed out girlfriend home if you give me Sam’s number.”

    That’s horrible in so many ways – this is the guy that she wants so much to be with – who just throws someone vulnerable away? I know, it’s supposed to be a fantasy about true love, and that one perfect soul mate, but it’s so horrible in so many ways. Where’s a rampaging, insane killer when you need one?

    BREAKFAST CLUB (Netflix) – How was this rated R? There’s no sex or nudity, no real violence, just a bit of (mildly) bad language, some marijuana, and about 30 frames of Molly Ringwald’s panties. Funniest thing about Ally Sheedy’s sugar sandwich; pimentos from the lunch meat she threw away still there, under the sugar and Cap’n Crunch. Sugar and pickled peppers. Mmmm.

    “I wanna be just like you – I figure all I need is a lobotomy and some tights.”

    This is a much better film than SIXTEEN CANDLES; it plays much more fluidly, with characters that could almost be believable, and without the weird sexism of other Hughes films. Holds up pretty well.

    WEIRD SCIENCE (Netflix) – I once listened to someone try to explain computer security to me. He apparently mastered his hacking skills watching the high-tech computer bit at the start of this film. He even drew out the hexagonal gates in their mainframe break-in. I actually managed to keep a straight face; a fact I’m extremely proud of.

    The bathroom door had a sticker on it that said “I BRAKE FOR WOMEN” and it… breaks for a woman…

    On the surface, this is a film about two idiots who build a girl so that they can have sex. With her. I realize how weird that sounded, but the three of them do have a pretty uncomfortable shower scene together. This pair might have grown up to found Real Doll if Lisa hadn’t shown up and taught them a thing or two about women. Their whole reason for living was to find girlfriends; which, the way I remember high school in the pre-Internet world, was the goal.

    REAL GENIUS (Netflix) – I’m not sure if WEIRD SCIENCE or REAL GENIUS made it to screens first in 1985, but I think that this is the superior film on all levels. The kids in university seem a lot more believable; better script, better acting. Plus, the science here, while ludicrous, is WAAAAAY less so than in Hughes’ film.

    Jordan: I never sleep, I don’t know why. I had a roommate and I drove her nuts, I mean really nuts, they had to take her away in an ambulance and everything. But she’s okay now, but she had to transfer to an easier school, but I don’t know if that had anything to do with being my fault. But listen, if you ever need to talk or you need help studying just let me know, ’cause I’m just a couple doors down from you guys and I never sleep, okay?

    I still like it, even if The Mythbusters say the Giant Popcorn Ball is impossible.

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