• The Rapture, Vanishing on 7th Street, Devil, The Crazies, Pandorum (260/142)

    by  • 5/22/2011 • movies • 0 Comments

    Post-Rapture movie time… The films that didn’t make the cut for yesterday’s Rapture festival, and now that the world HASN’T ended – punishment time.

    THE RAPTURE – David Duchovny and Mimi Rogers – check out Duchovny with the hair… all Rapture-Ready with that business-in-front hairstyle. Mimi’s character is so bored with her life, her job, her 1980s, cliché hedonism. A combination of people at work talking about the End Times, and people coming to her door with stories of Jesus. She goes to the co-workers and tries to fake her way into the Rapture Club; they’re oddly smug and evasive for Rapturey evangelicals.

    The film suffers a bit from being made when it was – it’s very much an early 90s film in all the worst ways. Plinky piano soundtrack, dialogue that feels sanitized for TV (despite the occasional curse)…

    While much of the pre-conversion feels forced, the post-conversion seems quite real. Sharon goes from one definition of “rapture” to another. As her brain starts to turn off, she starts to enjoy her job, as it gives her a chance to tell hundreds of people a day about Jesus every time someone dials 4-1-1 to get a phone number…

    She marries a man, “saves” him, has a kid, and after Bad Things Happen, she learns that The Rapture really is coming… really soon now… this time we’re sure… just wait for us in the desert.

    It’s an okay film, but most of it is a slow build-up to the last 30 minutes, with a couple large leaps forward in timeline. That’s the part that makes this worth seeing.

    VANISHING ON 7TH STREET – Apparently, you don’t need the way or the truth in order to survive – you just need the light. The Darkness can kill the city’s lights, but your little AA-powered flashlight is beyond its mighty powers…

    So many inconsistencies – places where the Darkness easily overcomes ambient light, and places where a glowstick keeps it at bay. Sitting in front of a truck that has its headlights on, ignoring how dark it is under that truck… Then toward the end, we decide that the Darkness can now snuff out candle flames…

    One male, one female, alone… and the female is carrying an apple when they meet. What a wasted opportunity of a movie. I don’t expect answers necessarily, but I would appreciate some form of internal consistency in the film’s universe.

    I really don’t care if there’s advertising placements in films – if it helps fund them, fine. However, stop drawing focus so artificially to the logos. I’d rather they just put a commercial in than pretend they aren’t. I’m talking about you, AMC.

    DEVIL (iTunes) – There’s nothing special here that really goes beyond the synopsis; no big surprises, nothing really hidden. You’re dealing with some sort of avenging spirit that’s trying to make people pay for their sins. What the movie is left to work with, basically, is how the characters deal with that situation. You’d think that having your 5… oops… 4 central characters locked in an elevator would allow you to explore their personalities. Nope. Hardly really get into it… oops… 3. It’s better than THE VANISHING, but there’s nothing here that makes me want to return to it in the future.

    Is it wrong that I like the film a bit less now that I’ve read M. Night Shyamalan was involved in this story?

    THE CRAZIES (2010) (DVD) – Pseudo-zombie movie; angry, thinking, tool-using ‘zombies’ that result from a governmental biological weapon that was accidentally deployed in small-town America. It’s a relatively long incubation period, so you’re never quite certain if the person you’re with is just under stress from the situation or if they’re infected. Not until they’re standing over you, killing you. Reminiscent at times of both NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD meets TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE

    PANDORUM (DVD) – This is exactly the part of the long distance space travel that would bug me – never sure if you’re going to wake up, and if you do, what you’re going to find waiting for you if you do. How long have you been asleep? This is a pretty good film, and it goes nicely with THE CRAZIES remake. I would have liked to see it complete on the nihilistic note it hits pretty much right off the start.

    Though lines like this bug me; “That stuff is supposed to jump-start evolution.” As if evolution is something that can happen in an individual. Hire a scientist, next time you’re writing a script.


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