Putting up a couple of the robot images on Etsy, including one of my favorite “Friendly Monsters” coincidentally numbered 13. He’d be content to sit back, maybe watch a little Mork and Mindy on channel 57. Maybe kick back a cool Coors 16-ouncer. He’s good fine people, Stuart.

Sure, he looks like a horrible flesh-rending monster, but that just makes you a speciesist bastard if you let that stand in the way of just hanging out and getting to know someone who is just a bit different than you. I mean, if you cut him, does he not bleed? Well, okay, technically he doesn’t bleed. Okay, and his exoskeleten is made of a strange super-hard metal alloy that you’d be hard pressed to cut through, but I stand by the saying none the less.

HELLO PUNY EARTHLING, I HAVE BROUGHT YOU A PRESENT!

WILL YOU BE MY FRIEND?

I ALSO HAVE CHEEZEY SNACK ITEMS AND CARBONATED BEVERAGES AND SCRABBLE!

WHY ARE YOU RUNNING AWAY?

BE MY FRIEND, PUNY EARTH HUMAN!

How can you say NO to that little face…