• A Poem Beyond Belief

    by  • 3/30/2009 • skeptic • 0 Comments

    The ABCs of skepticism, as presented by The Bad Astronomer, Phil Plait. Go see his version, it’s all linky with extra information, and his commenters have some good suggestions for alternate verses.

    A is Ad hominem, attacks quite insulting,

    They may feel good but no good is resulting.

    B is for Bible, they swear itís all true,

    But so do the Muslims, and Buddhists, and Jews.

    C is Creation, 6000 years past;

    But when looked at the evidence is always half-assed.

    D is Debunker, itís said with a jeer.

    But we cannot debunk without bunk, that is clear.

    E: EVP, hearing voices of dead,

    but itís really just patterns of sound you are fed.

    F: The Face thatís on Mars is really a butte,

    Is there on the obverse a giant patoot?

    G is for Geller, a spoon he will bend,

    Is it magic or powers, or more likely pretend?

    H, Homeopathy, infinite dilution,

    Perhaps better known as persistent delusion.

    I, Ideomotor, the dowserís director,

    It fallaciously points on a randomized vector.

    J is Junk science, itís always reforming,

    from alt med to New Age, and anti-global warming.

    K is for Karma, you reap what you sow,

    but if itís not coincidence, then how would you know?

    Lís Levitation, they claim that they float

    but I think itís just bouncing theyíre trying to promote.

    M: Mayans said: doom in Twenty Oh Twelve,
    In 2013 those predictions weíll shelve.

    N is Nibiru, a planet of vapor,

    It never shows up but it looks good on paper.

    O: Oxygen water, marks canít get their fill,

    What they donít understand is that they donít have gills.

    P: Faces in patterns is called Pareidolia,

    In clouds itís mundane but in pastry itís holier?

    Q is for Quacks, their science is lacking,

    Theyíll sell you snake oil with the governmentís backing.

    R: Repressed memories, bad things youíve forgotten,

    But itís really the premise behind it thatís rotten.

    S: Sylvia Browne, who randomly guesses,

    That people believe her is why it depresses.

    Tís for Trudeau, and the trash that heís selliní,

    But credit card fraud? FTC: “Heís a felon.”

    U, Unidentified, the definitionís specific,

    But it doesnít stop cranks thinking theyíre scientific.

    V is Vaccines, which clear germs up quick,

    But some folks donít like them, they fight little pricks.

    Wís for Woo-woo, Randiís favorite word choice,

    And whoíll argue with him? He gave us our voice!

    X is for Xenu, scientologistís Satan,

    Give us all of your money, your engrams weíll straighten.

    Y is for Yeti, the Bigfoot, Sasquatch,

    A whole lot of nonsense without a single hair swatch.

    Z is for Zetans, those E.T. mind readers,

    But they disappeared as they followed the Lieder.

    Now you know your ABCs,

    Donít fall prey to fallacies.


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