• I Get Mail

    by  • 5/16/2008 • religion • 0 Comments

    Well, in the religious race that I’ve been having, we have some results. Not long ago, I decided to order some religious books; I was tempted to order a sampler set of all the Chick Tracts too, but have managed to control myself. I ordered a Book of Mormon, a New Testament, and a Quran.

    The Mormons won, dispatching a missionary to stake out my apartment building. The Latter Day Car pulled up and some well dressed, smiling missionaries stepped forward to hand-deliver the Good Word. My apartment buzzer rings to my cell phone, and I was at work, so I couldn’t bring them up anyhow. They must have some sort of emergency deployment system that drops conversion teams where ever they might be needed, as they showed up mere days after I filled out a form. A form, I might add that said nothing about sending spooks to my house to chat.

    The Christian Bible (Recovery Edition) showed up in the mail today, only slightly singed from having to share my mailbox with Trent Reznor’s Ghosts I-IV CD that arrived at the same time. I think that they’re building the bibles out of more demon proof products, or Trent’s just not as evil as he used to be. This Bible has an illustrated instruction manual; there are diagrams and everything. Images will be forthcoming.

    Muhammad is busy moving mountains, and is late to the party. Though, if the Mormons don’t use a postal employee instead of missionaries, they’re going to lose the race completely.

    I’d order Scientology information, but I’m not sure that I want to tell them my crimes just yet.


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