I received a bit of mail yesterday that brightened my day in so many ways, and it’s end of the world prophecy in all its self-published glory. You better hurry if you want to get your own copy because it’s nearly over. The postal system’s oath says nothing about Apocalypse, rivers of blood, or seal breaking lambs, so I imagine it would be hard to send anything by mail. I think I read somewhere that Internet providers entire telephone tech support staffs and Web 2.0 company founders are among the first wave that are killed in the holy war of the Apocalypse… though that might have just been a dream.

From now until the latter part of 2008, many prophecies are going to begin to be fulfilled, especially the Seven Thunders of the Book of Revelation, which the apostle John saw but was restricted from recording. Those thunders are revealed in this book, as well as detailed accounts of the final three and one-half years of man’s self-rule on earth, which are recorded in the account of the Seventh Seal of Revelation.

The book is titled 2008 God’s Final Witness, and it’s end-time prophet of the God of Abraham, Ronald Weinland

The first thing I did was flip to the back of the book, to see how it ends.

By the fall of 2008, the United States will have collapsed as a world power, or it will have begun its collapse and no longer exist as an independent nation within six months after that time. There is a marginal, six-month window of time that God has not yet revealed concerning this specific time. This will be revealed some time soon after the distribution of this book begins.

He’s pretty savvy, and hasn’t just left us with the book as his final word; he’s updating us on his Vision through his blog. He and his wife are in Jerusalem in order to witness the breaking of the seventh seal; both Ronald and Laura are God’s Final Witnesses, you see. I suppose the expense of mailing books and traveling overseas is nothing when you know that there are only ~6 months left for the human race; makes budgeting easier.

My wife and I, as well as Johnny and Myrtle Harrell, will be visiting Israel from April 14th through April 21st. We will be in Jerusalem on April 17th which is the day the First Trumpet of the Seventh Seal sounds. The process of all that will occur, with the sounding of the First Trumpet [hail of fire, destroying much of the plant life on the planet - foo], will begin on April 17th and continue to increase in destructive power (consequences) for the following seven weeks [until June 5th? - foo]. The Second Trumpet will not sound until after the Day of Pentecost. This does not mean it is near that date, but it means it cannot happen until after that day.

A paraphrasing of the Seven Seals, that have all been opened according to Mr. Weinland.

1. Introduction of the Antichrist


2. Great warfare


3. Famine


4. Plague, more famine, more war


5. About Christian martyrs


6. Devastating earthquake and unusual astronomical phenomena


7. Contains seven trumpets… hail of fire, meteors, sun goes out, etc etc

I’m a bit confused as I haven’t seen any fire from the heavens yet, but I suppose I might have until June 5th to find a supplier for asbestos umbrellas for the tomato plants.

I’ve only just skimmed the first dozen pages and some random pages in the body of the text; partly to see if it contained anything more than “All Work and No Play Make Ronald a Dull Boy” over and over again. It’s not well written, but maybe it’s translation error, as the human mind just isn’t built to comprehend God (or something to that effect).

I think I caught wind of this prophetic work a month or two back from one of the writers at SkepChick. You can order your very own free copy of this (sure to be a collectors item come January 2009) or download it or buy it on Amazon if you prefer.