It’s been just over a year now that I’ve been in Halifax. There are so many things that I’m surprised by that I’m sure I must have mentioned by now; the victim attitude, the inflated sense o self importance, an amazing resistance to change, the obsession with Tim Hortons coffee-flavoured beverage, and the surprising closed-mindedness to name just a couple.

You might think that having both a persecution complex and a superiority complex would be a contradiction, but in this schizoid region, it’s an amazing bit of work. It would seem that citizens are at once afraid of strangers and outsider ideas to the point of violence and so sure that this is the best place on earth where people are the friendliest and most welcoming of any people anywhere.

Of course, they’re only friendly if you’re a local and have lived here your whole life. There’s a sick sort of pride that says that there’s nothing that the world outside of the Maritimes matters. People who travel further than Moncton or St. Johns are viewed with as much suspicion as those of us who were born elsewhere.

Patriotism is nothing but an accident of birth that determines where you are born, and where your parents fucked do not determine what region is best; though the number of people conceived in Cancun and other spring break destinations might help determine the most fun locales.

Most of the people that I see here good work ethics in have spent time ‘abroad’ in Toronto, London, Berlin, Vancouver, Calgary, Edmonton, and the US. That or they are foreign born. There’s a distinct lack of strive, of drive, in the people I’m exposed to whose families have lived for generations venturing no further geographically than Cape Breton and no further intellectually than So You Think You Can Dance.

Other than all that, and a job that’s not what was promised on the offer… and the lack of any real spare cash… and a lack of live shows that are any good… and a lack of an airport that’s convenient or affordable to fly from…

Other than all that, nothing but roses. Rotten, stinking roses loaded with maggots.