CNN on Foreign Aid offers to the US

Nigeria has pledged $1 million to hurricane disaster relief, government officials told CNN. “Nigeria will be happy to pledge $1 million to the hurricane disaster fund in the spirit of brotherhood,” Finance Minister Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala said.

In a stunning turn of events, the bankrupt artist has acquired a copy of the actual email that was sent directly to the US Presidential email address. We are unable to reveal our source for this information out of journalistic integrity…

To: MissionAccomp001@whitehouse.gov <George W. Bush>
Cc: HallibutonRoolz@whitehouse.gov <Dick Cheney>
Subject: IN STRICTEST CONFIDENCE!

DEAR SIRS,

I GREET YOU IN THE NAME OF THE ALMIGHTY. I HAVE DECIDED TO CONTACT YOU TODAY TO DISCUSS SOME VERY IMPORTANT ISSUEs WHICH I WILL REVEAL TO YOU IN THE COURSE OF THIS LETTER. I AM MRS HADJIA MARIAM ABACHA, THE WIFE OF THE LATE HEAD OF STATE OF THE FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA, LATE GENERAL SANI ABACHA. WHO DIED GRUESOMELY ON THE 8TH JUNE 1998. I MANAGED TO GET YOUR CONTACT FROM AN INTERNATIONAL JOURNAL. AND AS A LAST RESORT TO SEEK ASSISTANCE I DECIDED WITH ALL HUMILITY TO CONTACT YOU.

THE REASON WHY I AM SECRETLY CONTACTING YOU IS PLEAD FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE UNBEHALF OF MY FAMILY TO HELP US IN THE TRANSFER OF USD$20,000,000.00 (TWENTY MILLION DOLLARS), WHICH IS PRESENTLY BEING OFFERED HERE IN NIGERIA AS A RESULT OF THE PROBLEMS YOU IS HAVING WITH THIS GOVERNMENT WHO HAS HURRICANE PROBLEM. A SECURITY COMPANY HERE IN NIGERIA IS HOLDING MONEY TO BE MOVED ABROAD UNDER DIPLOMATIC COVER TO ENSURE ITS SAFETY AND CONFIDENTIALITY FOR YOUR USE. FOR SECURITY REASONS WE CLAIMED THAT THE CONSIGNMENT CONTAINED FAMILY TREASURES INSTEAD OF CASH TO AVOID SUSPICION. ALSO THE CONSIGNMENT WILL BE MOVED IN YOUR NAME TO AVOID ANY POSSIBLE TRACE TO US THAT MAY LEAD TO ITS SEIZURE.

PLEASE REPLY BY EARLIEST CONVENIENCE FOR ARRANGE OF WIRE TRANSFER OF FEES SO THAT WE MAY SEND FUNDS IMMEDIATELY. SIMPLE PAYMENT OF $2500 WILL BE REQUIRED SO THAT WE MAY FILE LEGAL PAPERS AND PAY BRIBES OF CORRUPT OFFICIALS HERE. IN EXCHANGE YOU WILL RECIEVE OUR HIGHEST REGARD AND A 5% (ONE MILLION DOLLARS) FEE FOR YOUR SERVICE SO THAT YOU MAY REBUILD THE COUNTRY CLUBS IN NEW ORLEANS.

GODS BLESSINGS UPON YOU