Saw this on Boing Boing earlier today; a satirical RPG rule system that does away with all the boring bullshit that teenage boys have to get through in order to get to the interesting stuff where you hurt things. Well, the game is being re-released under the Creative Commons (Attribution NonCommercial ShareAlike License) after having been the joke hit of a gaming convention. Check the author’s bl0g post linked below about the GenCon sale for the story.

Drugs, sex, violence, and insane attention to details of game mechanics and bullet physics; I know people who would actually play this…

A couple pieces of the text I enjoyed are quoted below:

What Is Violence^TM?

Violence^TM is a lot like Dungeons & Dragons® by that other company. You and your friends play characters in an imaginary world. You wander about a maze, kicking down doors, killing whatever you find on the other side, and taking its possessions. The main difference is this: The world isn’t some third-rate fantasy writer’s drivel about elves and dwarves and magic spells, but the world of today. The doors you kick down aren’t those of a subterranean dungeon — unless you’re in the subway — but those of decent, honest, hard-working people who merely want to live their lives. The things you kill aren’t cardboard “monsters” whom the game defines as okay to kill because, well, they’re monsters—but fellow human beings, with families and friends and hopes and fears and highly developed senses of morality — far better people than you, in fact. And the things you steal aren’t “magic items” and “gold pieces” but stereos, computers, jewellery, and whatever other items of value you can lift.

Here’s what you need to play Violence^TM

1. This book.

2. Each and every Violence^TM accessory and follow-on product, plus all Violence^TM logo products, including but not limited to Violence^TM t-shirts, Violence^TM faux vomit and blood packets, Violence^TM miniatures and paint sets, Violence^TM CDs and tapes, Violence^TM collectible cards, Violence^TM POGs and action figures, Violence^TM blood-colored soda pop, and Violence^TM salty snacks, all purchased at full retail price, preferably by mail order directly from the publisher, Hogshead Publishing Ltd, 1820 Bromell’s Road, London SW4 0BG, Great Britain. Oh, we suppose you can actually play without all this crap, but please be assured, your enjoyment will be infinitely improved by sending us every penny, pfennig, or lira you possess.

3. You will need some Violence^TM logo dice, which differ from normal dice by the presence of the Violence^TM logo and their substantially higher price. We have used six-, eight-, ten-, twelve- and twenty-sided dice with gay abandon throughout the rules to ensure that you purchase the complete Violence^TM dice set, and also because we can’t be bothered to standardize. If it was good enough for Gygax, it’s good enough for me.

About the Author

Greg Costikyan sent us this text:

“Violence^TM: The Game of Egregious and Repulsive Bloodshed is designed by ‘Designer X,’ the creator of more than two dozen commercially-published paper and computer games, many of them winners of prestigious awards. He is bitterly ashamed to be associated in any way with this vile product. He lives nowhere. With no one. Do not try to find him, or it will go ill with you.”

“one out of every three words must be an obscenity. Like ‘fuck you, you fucking pussy-whipped shithead’”

Download the PDF
Visit the Author of the game
Boing Boing post