• Mountain Dew Becomes Drinkable

    by  • 5/20/2005 • life • 13 Comments

    I stopped in at 7-11 to get a Slurpee today. I wasn’t thrilled by the flavour selection, so I hit the coolers to pick up a Diet Coke. Wait a minute, why do they have two full shelves of Mountain Dew? And DIET Mountain Dew? This must be some crazy hallucination caused by cold medication. I mean, nobody in Canada actually drinks Mountain Dew, do they?

    I take a closer look and notice that it’s new “Mountain Dew ENERGY” and it’s listed as a “Natural Health Product” and an “Energy Drink” on the label. I’m intrigued, so I check the label for more; it has CAFFEINE in it. Not guarana or any other half baked caffeine substitute, but real, life affirming caffeine.

    For years (decades? forever?) it was impossible to purchase beverages in Canada that had caffeine in them where caffeine didn’t naturally occur; Jolt could add MORE caffeine, because caffeine was in the product. Many products went on to use guarana in all its overpowering berry flavour, but few applied for license to do it.

    Many Americans I talk to don’t understand that Mountain Dew in Canada was uncaffeinated; I mean, why the hell would you drink it otherwise? They didn’t understand my requests for them to smuggle Mountain Dew into Canada for me, or why I’d drive across the border partially just for the Dew.

    A side effect of this having to be licensed and approved is that they list exactly how much caffeine is in it; 91mg. The warning and “instructions” are amusing as well;

    RECOMMENDED USE: Developed for periods of increased mental and physical exertion. Helps temporarily restore mental alertness or wakefulness when experiencing fatigue or drowsiness.

    RECOMMENDED DOSE: Drink 591mL (1 bottle) as needed.

    MEDICINAL INGREDIENT: Per 591mL: Caffeine 91mg

    CAUTIONS: Contains caffeine. Not recommended for children, pregnant or breat-feeding women, or caffeine-sensitive persons. Do not consume more than 1000mg caffeine per day.

    This better fucking stick around, so go buy it, impress them with the sales that they’ll start selling it in larger bottles…


    13 Responses to Mountain Dew Becomes Drinkable

    1. WeeBo
      5/30/2005 at 2:18 am

      just so you know, i got the cans, and in the cans there is 355ml and like 109mg of caffeine, its a better buy, and i know what you mean, the only reason i came back to the dew is b/c of this great caffeine :D

    2. Twitch
      6/2/2005 at 11:07 am

      Just got a 2L bottle of the stuff at local A&P. Oddly enough, it also stated 109mg of caffeine in a 666mL serving (1/3 of the bottle). Sounds like the cans have more twitch.

    3. JAppi
      6/3/2005 at 7:17 pm

      the cans has it listed as 109mg of caffeine for *two* cans. Learn to read.

    4. 6/9/2005 at 8:40 am

      Ya i’ve smuggled cases of Mountain Dew in to canada for years, and i’ve made a killing off of selling it for years… guess i’ll have to find something else….

    5. Greg Isenberg
      6/20/2005 at 6:07 am

      I live in the U.S., but I work for a company in Toronto. The first time I came up on business, I did my normal routine. Open a Mt.Dew before my eyes were even open. Mt. Dew is my coffee. So I start drinking my Mt. Dew from Canada when someone in the meeting stated that it had no CAFFEINE. I thought they were playing a joke on me. The thing looked exactly like what I have everyday down in the states. Then he said read the label and you will not find CAFFEINE listed. Since then I take my own up to Canada. I even had one punture in my luggage due to a bag search and the idiots didn’t put them back in the padding that I had. My clothes were soaked. This news has made my day! I never took for granted what I had access to again.


    6. james
      6/27/2005 at 1:46 pm

      i had 2 bottles of this at a school field trip and i was so hyper, it was amazing. I can barely remember what happened. i’d recommend this to anyone. EVERYONE MUST TRY IT!

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    9. mb
      11/23/2005 at 5:08 pm

      Hi, I was just wondering, where can i order canadian mountain dew from massachutts?

    10. Fi
      1/24/2008 at 2:41 pm

      When my family and I went to Canada (from the UK) in 2001 we immediately fell in love with Mountain Dew, which none of us had had before. We drank it by the bucket until we crossed the border and suddenly it was…just a bit rubbish. Basically, the Canadian variety has a far richer and more satisfying flavour – US Mountain Dew just tastes like sweet water. So I say: who cares about the caffeine? Canadian Mountain Dew beats the US variety every time. I certainly hope they don’t stop making it separately…

    11. Evan
      2/18/2008 at 9:42 pm

      i liked mt dew .. itwas good .. i had the canned stuff too. its all good..
      but aparently it makes your sperm count drop… which is a bad thing concidering my gf wants 5 kids :P so i stopped drinking it… but all in all its a great product..

    12. Me
      3/13/2008 at 1:03 am

      {i liked mt dew .. itwas good .. i had the canned stuff too. its all good..
      but aparently it makes your sperm count dropů which is a bad thing concidering my gf wants 5 kids :P so i stopped drinking itů but all in all its a great product..}

      Wow you’re gullible… i think you should look up your facts before saying stuff that makes you look like an idiot

    13. Ibb Bobble
      5/6/2008 at 1:54 am

      Yeah, I’d heard the sperm count dropping rumour, too.
      I think that’s only american mountain dew, and it’s actually more of a “caffeine makes your sperm count drop” thing.
      But who wants kids, anyway? Nosy little brats..

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