• Martha Stewart:Satan::Hank Williams Jr:Hank Williams Sr

    by  • 2/26/2001 • life • 0 Comments

    Maybe I have it backwards. Maybe we’ve had it wrong all this time, and Martha Stewart isn’t the spawn of Satan. What if it’s the other way around; that Satan is doing HER bidding? It’s possible.

    I mean it’s all reminiscent of the “Sushi” episode of Martha Stewart that I got lured into watching since it claimed to cover some Japaneses cooking techniques. I should have learned after the time years previous that she made “sushi” out of little bunches of carrot sticks tied up together, and little bundles of celery.

    There was nothing Japanese about the crap her “Japanese Chef” (ignoring the fact that Chefs are, by definition, French) created. Yes, sure, there was rice, and yes, there was tea involved, but all that Balsalmic vinegar and such beat out any idea of authenticity. She’s cornered the market on crack, methinks.

    Anyhow. tonight’s reason for hatred is that I simply can’t do a nice background on a canvas without that bitch and her cool wall texture techniques coming into my head to haunt me. She’s a pretender and has made every other middle aged bored housefrau believe that she is an artist because she can layer a puke coloured glaze on a wall. Puke? Puce? You decide which is more disturbing.

    Anyhow, as I’m layering on glazes to create a background, all I can hear in my head is “It’s a GOOD thing”… I know I can repress the hag, but it’ll take a lot of work and alcohol.



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